Vampire bites

The family, uncles, aunts, etc, called today. What a festival..
They don't want me to keep going to the hospital alone. My grand-mother is too close to death now they say, blind, moaning in a most painful way despite the morphine.

And I wondered why I was so down lately. Many reasons could explain that. But I realise it's my time at the hospital. The smell of death there. My energy and sensitivity being devoured.

When I am there, I believe I am strong and it goes pretty well. But once back home, I feeling like throwing up, I cry and I do not make the direct link with the hospital. I remember a year ago being at the hospital while my mother n law was dying. I think of my lil problems. I get down, more than usual.

The real thing sucking energy in me is that hospital. My grand-ma suffering like in hell, unable to die.
I believe my family's right. None of them, including my sister, can stand spending hours there alone.