Slowly getting back to it

With the lil help of my Xmas elves, I'm getting back to it :)
(thank you Jenny for your email :-))

It's been been and still is some kind of weird time, fighting for bloody money, works, trying to make my babes happy, forgetting myself a bit too much in the whole process...

Time to multitask even more, for the best.

I wanna be a Teddy

Lola went to bed tonight with a sudden stress.

She started talking to me... told me she did not want to be separated from me next week, that she is so tired of that. That she misses me already. She did not want to sleep because it was less time with me (told her I'll join her in her dreams but..)

:(

She said she wanted me to be her teddy Bear so she could be with me night and day.
Gawd, that's very painful, I feel so helpless. I feel the same way Lola does, really.

Oooops !

I went to the doc yesterday. For a check-up for the devils and myself.

Lola is getting so tall, 10cm in a year! //oO\\ ... Another 10cm and she'll be my size!
Loup is growing up very well too :)
No vaccine to be done for them.

But me... a very different story.
When the doc saw my health record, she couldn't believe I've had no vaccines in 20 years...

When she learnt I work with people that may carry more diseases than usual, she asked me to get the 5 vaccines that were missing very quickly.

The needles' session starting on next Monday.
My devils really had the time of their life learning about the treatment their mama will get :)

They even joked asking the doc for needles too. Pffffff :)

A (few!) minute(s) in a single mom's life

7.00 : waking up, making everything ready for the devils
8.30: running out, late with the devils, holiday camp
9.05: "hello fellow workers!"
10.30: "Good morning again, your son does not feel well, you gotta come back"
10.45: running out, wondering how I'll manage between a sick kid, work, oh and a fine kid
11.15: back home with the devils, with a list of recommendations for a couple of hours. Neighbours are warned.
12.30: woooshing back to work, shit my home phone does not work. HYPER stress
13.00: telling my boss I gotta go (wondering how I'll manage tomorrow with the pile of work on my desk).

15.00: cuddling my babes, horrible bills waiting on my desk. Trying to look zen, despite all the rest.
 15.02: promising a wonderful end of the week to my devils (while quickly checking how I'll make that possible)

happy (stressed) sigh :)

and I wish I was ....

Cupcakes & snakes

I've finished Sophie Syphilis a few days ago. This is such a personal painting! Feeling like painting with blood.. honest!
Just had to wait for the rain to stop to get the right light for the photos :) ... and taking pics of paintings never fit the reality (sigh). I need a good photographer in my life! :P

click here for details

Blessed (very short) moment

My babes are back to me today.
We started the day with Frankenweenie, a restaurant, waflles later, games together, cooking with Loup, movie in the evening.

We all needed that very much.

I can breathe again :)

I wish I had holidays with them, but I can't yet... it's been so long. I wish they could sleep in the morning, but instead I gotta take them in their holiday camp (which happens to be in their own school).
*sigh*

One day I'll take a lil revenge on life, because well it's been a bitch lately!
Not complaining though,
I'm the happiest mama, surrounded with perfect friends.

Human Misery

It's been a week I won't forget at work.

I'm confronted (not directly but as a close witness) to violence and deep human pain. I do admire my colleagues who make so many efforts despite the frustration (of not being able to help most of the people who come to us).

When I leave work, I do not, I can't.. feel *light*.
Friends are really helpful here.

I hope one day I meet someone who'll bring me tenderness and comfort and dreams when I come back home.
But I'm so closed to deep relationship. So dry. I've built a wall, no doubt.
I really should start to break it..