Slowly getting back to it

With the lil help of my Xmas elves, I'm getting back to it :)
(thank you Jenny for your email :-))

It's been been and still is some kind of weird time, fighting for bloody money, works, trying to make my babes happy, forgetting myself a bit too much in the whole process...

Time to multitask even more, for the best.

Oooops !

I went to the doc yesterday. For a check-up for the devils and myself.

Lola is getting so tall, 10cm in a year! //oO\\ ... Another 10cm and she'll be my size!
Loup is growing up very well too :)
No vaccine to be done for them.

But me... a very different story.
When the doc saw my health record, she couldn't believe I've had no vaccines in 20 years...

When she learnt I work with people that may carry more diseases than usual, she asked me to get the 5 vaccines that were missing very quickly.

The needles' session starting on next Monday.
My devils really had the time of their life learning about the treatment their mama will get :)

They even joked asking the doc for needles too. Pffffff :)

Cupcakes & snakes

I've finished Sophie Syphilis a few days ago. This is such a personal painting! Feeling like painting with blood.. honest!
Just had to wait for the rain to stop to get the right light for the photos :) ... and taking pics of paintings never fit the reality (sigh). I need a good photographer in my life! :P

click here for details

Human Misery

It's been a week I won't forget at work.

I'm confronted (not directly but as a close witness) to violence and deep human pain. I do admire my colleagues who make so many efforts despite the frustration (of not being able to help most of the people who come to us).

When I leave work, I do not, I can't.. feel *light*.
Friends are really helpful here.

I hope one day I meet someone who'll bring me tenderness and comfort and dreams when I come back home.
But I'm so closed to deep relationship. So dry. I've built a wall, no doubt.
I really should start to break it..

Little pride

When someone ask about my job... I naturally answer I am a a part-time painter and part-time assistant in humanitarian organisation.
The feed back is so positive that it makes me proud. A bit. If I can succeed in both jobs, I will be really proud.

the Killing

I've survived the Killing.

I thought no gossip could ever touch me. But for some days, it did. Maybe because I wasn't the only one concerned. I lost control over some situation and I really do hate that.

People wanting to hurt someone, I don't get it.
People might want to hurt when they are deeply jealous. But jealous of what? My life? really? I don't get it.

I don't even know who really wanted to hurt me but it's been a success.
I'm done with it but won't forget it.

In that collage, I've been about every character behind the iron bars. Today I am the pink haired one, on the top left :)

Value on blood and sweat

Suddenly I realized I hadn't put any price for my paintings (for my 2 months' exhibition).
Art and biz ... what a mess!

So people there can get me on their walls if they can afford at least 150 euros... lol. I'm just expensive!

Oops, where is my mind?

My paintings should already be on the walls of that big art shop. But I had completely forgotten about it!

Showing my paintings for 2 months with publicity on some website, that is cool. But shit, I forgot.
Gotta fix that by Monday.

Which painting shall I show (tiny space)? .. Hm, Lola and I fixed that while roasting in the sun earlier today.
How will I carry and fix them? I count on my two devils to help me. That's kinda fun. We make a great team.

There should be this one, and a dozen of others.

Life is so busy for me, it's hard to focus! :)

Just a quickie

I wanna update my bloggie, so badly!
But I've been hardly behind my screen lately. Last weekend I was in Bretonie, to spend 3 days with my devils. I go back there tomorrow. My only precious holidays, 2 weekends far from my beloved Paris.

There, I spend my time in my mom's house. I can't go back in the hobbit house, it's too painful, it's too much for me. I feel like in the twilight zone there. Last year I spent 2 months in that lil house I did love. Today I try to escape the memories it brings me. So strange.

Work is going fine. It's hard, really speed, but very interesting. When I leave, I jump in a bus, in a tram, in the tube to join my sport place. I'm never back home before 10.00pm lately.

I love life this way.

I'll bring back photos after my weekend in the wild wild west ;)

Battles

swallowing a hot coffee, feeling like I could share this coffee with someone.
Getting ready for work, kids, sport, kids, painting

Adjusting

A new job is pretty hard. Working in a social environment is just like landing on another planet.
Today I arrived at work, found a homeless one in front of the still closed door, surrounded by his bros and sis. He was on the floor, bleeding. Huge injury in his head, he had just fallen really badly after an epileptic crisis.

I helped the way I could, put handkerchiefs on his bleeding head (as firemen told me on the phone) and waited for the emergency help.

Then I started my day, a bit shocked I reckon.

And I thought I was busy?? ha!

Oh God, my new job is very interesting but very demanding on many levels. Without talking of the time spent in metro and tramway.

I finished tonight at 6.30pm, came back home, exhausted, grabbed my sport-bag (the devils are with their dads on Tuesday's evening), when to sweat for 1 hour, finally left by 9.30pm, went for food shopping and I'm just back.

Tomorrow morning, I gotta contact the school very early for summer camp for the kids, then rush to work, then rush back around here to take the kids who will be at a neighbour's till I come back from work.

Meanwhile, there are a hundred of things I gotta do, my head is about to explode : )

And meanwhile really... I gotta get a life!

Tell me it won't be that speed and that hard all the time....

My art in the name of feet

A painting sold, 3 pairs of shoes expected at home.

Mines for work mostly,
my devils' for toes in the air

It's good to sell one's art sometimes :)

Planting my flag on a new planet

First day at work.
Wonderful people surrounding me. My boss gives me 10 days to get used to the place, to the people, to explore every corner of it.
It feels strange to be in a same place for many hours. It feels strange to try to fit to a company's habits. Remembering names is already something : )
Strange to dress for some "official work".  Strange to be part of the massive running workers in the tramway and metro. 40 to 45 min to get to my working place.

I hope though I'll be the perfect assistant I'm expected to be.

Taking care of my babes at the same time, even if only part-time job is something. I never finish just in time when they finishes school and that already requires so much organisation. Thank god, people and friends around are very helpful, always someone to keep an eye over my devils.

I'm tired tonight and nothing compared with the tiredness you get after 2 hours at sport.
Gotta finish taking care of some papers and then I'll work a bit on one of my paintings.

And well, I'm still playing lottery..

Doomed (Vultures are prowling)

Doomed (Vultures are prowling)
... is the last painting I've done and sold. So happy to sell my art sometimes! And this one is truly beautiful, big and imposing : )

I'm working on two others. I will soon contact an old cinema in the Montparnasse district that exhibit paintings and is pretty well known for that. 6 months to wait before showing one's art but it's something I wanna try : )

Ready for work, girl?

Oh good! cause you've just got a job!

yeahhh! After, hm, 6 months, long... endless months.
Yesterday I got a call from the boss of a company I contacted a couple of weeks ago.
I was so much affected by Conan's brutal death that I couldn't share that good news, except with the kids.

A job, finally. Part-time job to be the boss' assistant.

The company... An association taking care of homeless people. What a different environment for me, so motivating.

My interview 2 weeks ago went ok it seems. I'm really really happy. I'll be working 2 afternoons and 2 mornings per week.

Can keep on with my painting biz and maybe find another part time job :)

No holiday for me this year. I don't care, except for my babes...
I want so much to take them abroad and explore the World with them. One day...

And maybe one day I can afford for those too..

PS: no way I can wear the WHITE ones... but make them red or black and oh yeahhh!

You said any opportunity?

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Jungle (chapter #38)

So here I am, still looking for a job. I think I'm not the only one by the way (lol when I get a job interview, the pile of resumes is truly impressive!)

My job hunt has been a bit slower lately... with my grand-ma last days and divorce judgement, it was hard to focus on it.
But I'm back to it.

Got a very good interview last week to be a receptionist/assistant (that more or less the pic I gave them, without all that contrast huhu,  they wanted a pic... They often want one!
And I fight hard to not look too tired... pfffff).

Got a super opportunity from a big internet company, but it was abroad... :( ... had to refuse. So frustrating, I could feel THE opportunity.

Medical assistant, part time actress (lol), assistant for laywers, assistant in associations welcoming homeless people, I answer any job offer I can.


Gotta be sure I don't work on weekends or in evenings.

People often worry that I have stopped having a regular job for 10 years.
Sigh.

But I've learnt to know how to sell myself now, and I learn everytime.

I am very curious what kind of job I'll get at the end (soon hopefully!)

Heaven is a place on earth with you

I'm so sorry for the lack of news, the lack of answers to emails or messages. Any of them matters so much to me. Every word makes a difference.
Thank you... thank you, my beloved ones : )))

As always, I'm running after time.
I'm digesting the death of my grand-ma (she's burried at the feet of old mountains, and stupid, I worry she's cold, that really haunts me), I'm getting back to the job hunting, try to cope with the divorce process. And my babes. Lola's having epileptic crisis again, which is my priority now. And Loup is fine, but I keep a careful and attentive eye on him : )
They were very brave during the funerals, comforting their lil cousins.

I'm also back to the painting works. Finished a collage days ago, works on an order just now.
I don't give a fuck to the French elections that just happened. ** shrugging **. I paint, I do my own (adored) duty. : )

Heaven is here, and nowhere else. I have Hope, i'll find or build it.
Thank you, Gontran, for that song.

still pushing the heavy wheel

On Thursday, I get another job interveiw, I shouldn't even talk of it on here (superstition!) , but well...
Assistant in a private clinic in the 16th arrondissement.
Dunno how I'll get the time to prepare the interview with the devils around, but I'll make it : )