Say Cheese!

I always love the contrast between deadly aspect and glamour. The barbie is a perfect tool to express it : )
Same with fairy tales, pin-ups.

On this one, that deadly smile is perfect. (but LGaga's video's inspiration for sure).

What you see is never what it is they say. But a classic barbie gets this exact smile to me.

The artist is just revealing a reality. Love it.

You said any opportunity?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wanna join my cabin?

I only watch movies on my computer (lately at least). The Cabin in the woods has been a precious exception..

I expected a scary movie like I used to watch years ago. And it was. But very funny too, and clever enough.

Love the scene when the Blond french kisses a dead wolf! hehe woaaaaa. Not a readhead thingie! Neeeee ;-)

Jungle (chapter #38)

So here I am, still looking for a job. I think I'm not the only one by the way (lol when I get a job interview, the pile of resumes is truly impressive!)

My job hunt has been a bit slower lately... with my grand-ma last days and divorce judgement, it was hard to focus on it.
But I'm back to it.

Got a very good interview last week to be a receptionist/assistant (that more or less the pic I gave them, without all that contrast huhu,  they wanted a pic... They often want one!
And I fight hard to not look too tired... pfffff).

Got a super opportunity from a big internet company, but it was abroad... :( ... had to refuse. So frustrating, I could feel THE opportunity.

Medical assistant, part time actress (lol), assistant for laywers, assistant in associations welcoming homeless people, I answer any job offer I can.


Gotta be sure I don't work on weekends or in evenings.

People often worry that I have stopped having a regular job for 10 years.
Sigh.

But I've learnt to know how to sell myself now, and I learn everytime.

I am very curious what kind of job I'll get at the end (soon hopefully!)

A thought full of love

For Christa.

My beloved mother in law died a year ago. After terrible sufferings.
That was probably, precisely the beginning of a hard life chapter for me.
I loved her so much.
I keep her close in my heart. I remember her voice so clearly, her tenderness. She was a mom to me, so sweet.

I get her photo not far, everyday I send her kisses.

I miss you so much, Christa.

Metal up your ass

it was unexpected. I was invited at the very last minute to the Metallica show on Saturday.

I was down (what a change), not motivated.
A weekend without my babes around always gets this effect on me.

But I was there with a very good friend. So happy he thought of me to join : )







We were in the VIP quarter. Kate Moss was my neighbour, lol.

She was pretty, honest.

I would have almost killed to get her jacket and boots, but I was too down to try anything bad ;-)





The show wasn't the best, to my opinion. Too big, too cold.
Yet I was really happy to be there, a good way to distract myself : ))

Heaven is a place on earth with you

I'm so sorry for the lack of news, the lack of answers to emails or messages. Any of them matters so much to me. Every word makes a difference.
Thank you... thank you, my beloved ones : )))

As always, I'm running after time.
I'm digesting the death of my grand-ma (she's burried at the feet of old mountains, and stupid, I worry she's cold, that really haunts me), I'm getting back to the job hunting, try to cope with the divorce process. And my babes. Lola's having epileptic crisis again, which is my priority now. And Loup is fine, but I keep a careful and attentive eye on him : )
They were very brave during the funerals, comforting their lil cousins.

I'm also back to the painting works. Finished a collage days ago, works on an order just now.
I don't give a fuck to the French elections that just happened. ** shrugging **. I paint, I do my own (adored) duty. : )

Heaven is here, and nowhere else. I have Hope, i'll find or build it.
Thank you, Gontran, for that song.

Paradise should be just at the corner

I don't know.

On Saturday, I was in that hospital room with my mom. We were talking. It was about 7.00pm. We were used to the heavy breathing of my grand mother with her mask, oxygen, etc.

But suddenly.. Silence. Deadly silence.

"Mom, mom, she's stopping breathing !!!"
My hand on her heart. Not to check anything, just to, I don't know, touch her.
She breathes 2 times. One time.
She's gone.

My mom rushes to the doc, I take my grand-ma in my arms, crying. "No, no no no!!!"
She's gone.

"Why do you leave when I am with you, I can't handle that, I don't know how to handle that"

My sister had just left, my grandma wanted to spare her, I know.

We leave the room a few minutes later. The medical staff say they will "prepare her".
I ask them if they can close her mouth. "no problem !"

We leave for 20 minutes, my sister's back with us.
I get a call from Jenny, asking for news. Jenny, an angel : ))

We go back to the room, I expect to see my grandma, all pretty.
But.
She's in a white plastic bag already, around her head a bandage. She's already completely yellow.
(why did the skin turn SO yellow?? weird)

I was the first to be back in the room. I rush out, I tell my sis to wait a minute to get ready for something bad.

I get back there, open the plastic back down to her waist. I arrange a bedshit around her head, to hide the bandage.
My sister can't approach her, can't look at her. My mom is devastated.

I'm happy I'm a girl with a girlie handbag. I kiss my grandma. I start to put some nail varnish on her pretty hands.
Some light lipstick on her pretty lips. Now she's so pretty in death.
I hug her tight tight. And I won't stop for hours. Her still warm dead body comfort me.

Tomorrow, the funerals.

And tomorrow, probably the first judgement for my divorce.
I'm used to the worst at the moment, since months, so, it shouldn't be that bad.

Wish me luck when I read love words during the ceremony. It will happen at 11.00am.
I think I am strong, but I am not sure really.