Most lovely zombie song for a true zombie one

And I wonder how my body survives such short nights.
Hm, sport's probably helping a LOT : )


 

(thank you, music FB gang, for the link)

Two most beloved Priorities

Holiday time is a dead time for job offers (sigh).
My priorities, part time job or full time with tight schedule, not too far. God, I wouldn't have babes, I'd take anything, night and day, preferably something interesting.
But today my priorities are my babies of course. So I try anything, even if I am overqualified (I think) for most of the job offers I chose.

I've got good contacts, interesting phone calls, a looong job interview last week for a part time job... but with working hours that really did not fit (like starting to work in the middle of afternoon, etc).

sigh.
Today, something terribly not interesting, assistant in some, I dunno, AC company I think.. but with good money and close and with perfect working times. 5 days a week from 8.30 to 12.30. That would let me time to work on my paintings and sell them, and take care of the devils : )

I could also get a quick divorce and marry a very rich man! hehe.
sigh.

I sigh a lot, but I smile, no worries.

Anticipation, stress and cigarette

My devils start their Winter holidays tomorrow.
What does it mean now for me? It means I gotta learn how to "share" them. I'm not used to not have them close to me.
It's crazy, painful.
For a few days, I'll feel sick inside, I'll keep myself as busy as possible. Sport and friends will be like Heaven. Sweet escape.

I've had a packet of cigarettes  for 2 months. I've smoked one only.
2 others borrowed to friends.
I'll never let cigarettes be an addiction again, but these cigarettes have been truly good. I dream of that cigarette I'll have on one of those evenings, when I will think about the sleeping face of my babes, the peaceful rhythm of their heart. And miss them : )

Hunter

Hunting for boots comes first to my mind.
Hunting for food or sex come right after.

But right now I'm hunting for a job. Being on my own and just selling paintings is not enough (one day it will be !! ).

It's complicate (and that only sums up pretty well my life at the moment). I gotta find something, part time job, that allows me to take care of my kids at the same time. But making enough money is important, and keeping working on my painting business too. God that's complicate! lol

Online jobs... pretty risky, you have really anything. Usually demanding and not well paid at all.
So, I'm trying anything just now... as long as it sounds serious.

I avoid anything like...

"Vous avez un ordinateur, une webcam, une connexion internet et l'envie de gagner de l'argent facilement en vous amusant : ce job est fait pour vous !" .... steamy!

"Looking for Personal Assistant Needed, Must be able to pass a drug test. All qualifying" ... Annoying!

"URGENT ! Artiste cherche modèle féminin pour poser nue pour ses cours de dessin d'après modèle vivant.(environ 10 élèves)" ... huhu ... ha ben à poil? je passe! lol

"Stage garanti sans photocopie H/F (75016, Paris 16ème)" ... Mwahaha... je déteste pas les photocopies, mais pour que dalle, merci bien!

I just can't get enough?

Do you know how to prioritize? 'cause I don't. What's important to me right now? Getting on well with the father of my babes? Making money to pay for our nest? Recovering from the emotional injuries? I have no idea. I think money comes first, because it concerns directly my babies. : )

Don't have a conversation with me at the moment. I start my sentences and never finish them. I jump to another topic, there's chaos in my mind, I can't focus on one single thing.

I only try to slow down with the devils sometimes. In the evening. Shhh... I want home to be a warm peaceful nest for them.

But then... when I go to sleep, I'm lost again... In my dreams, chaos: I'm writing resumes, I'm doing gym, I stand in front of my ex's girlfriend (wondering about the look in her eyes), and I talk to my sister.

I want a fireplace, the kitties on my knees, the devils on my sides. I want that, or a good drug, dunno. Well preferably the first choice! lol

Deep inside though I am monowishing, and I plainly dream of that, nothing else.

Fucking Valentine ?

.. When it comes to forced roses and chocolate, it gets so annoying.
(..... well, of course like anyone spitting on V day, I still love chocolate and roses! Roses made of chocolate would be a must :P)

But then, I looooove it this way  :

My lil musician

It's been a month since Loup has asked for a Djumbé.
He gathered enough pocket money to afford one. So He and I went to the frozen flea market on Saturday. We met helpful guys, musicians who found us a lil djumbé. They played a bit with Loup. Lovely.

Now Loup keeps playing at it, specially when we're out, he plays while walking in the street, while we're shopping, and loves it.

The exotic, intoxicating sound and rhythm is wonderful for inexperienced hands and delicate ears! Best instrument ever just right now ;-)

Hot background for cold inside

I've really had a love affair with my blog since years now. "Blog affair" is such a logical, natural title!

I escape to come and write down what I feel, and that will be more true than ever with this new one. I'll have no limit, except the rules I give to myself.
If you come around and read these words, that's so cool. I believe in exchange, words, talks.

What about that hot background photo (that you won't see on a smaller screen :P)?
Me exposing myself, that sums up the idea of a personal blog. Self-centered.
Then with that blog title, it fits. And I like the red, warm light of it.

Personally, I am far from that background photo. Libido's pretty low and not feeling on top of the world, but then... the wheel always turns, no?

New Born Blog

My blog's dead. Long live my new blog : ) And now it gets a name! Took me hours so just don't you dare telling me it's shit : )
I wasn't to crash 11 years of blogging, oh no.

You and I, here, now, whenever. That's not a salacious offer, it's much worse better. So just take it or leave it :)