A (few!) minute(s) in a single mom's life

7.00 : waking up, making everything ready for the devils
8.30: running out, late with the devils, holiday camp
9.05: "hello fellow workers!"
10.30: "Good morning again, your son does not feel well, you gotta come back"
10.45: running out, wondering how I'll manage between a sick kid, work, oh and a fine kid
11.15: back home with the devils, with a list of recommendations for a couple of hours. Neighbours are warned.
12.30: woooshing back to work, shit my home phone does not work. HYPER stress
13.00: telling my boss I gotta go (wondering how I'll manage tomorrow with the pile of work on my desk).

15.00: cuddling my babes, horrible bills waiting on my desk. Trying to look zen, despite all the rest.
 15.02: promising a wonderful end of the week to my devils (while quickly checking how I'll make that possible)

happy (stressed) sigh :)

and I wish I was ....

Temps modernes ?

..Just stressing Paris? Or a mom on her own ?

it's 7.30pm
Rushing back from work, taking lil time for the babes that have been on their own for some time after holiday camp.
Rushing out to the veterinary, with Morphine and the devils, before I'd pay twice the price because it's already night schedule.
Rushing back home, giving Morphine her lil medication.

Then rushing out again because a mom had promised her babes they would get new stuff for school. And they wouldn't wait.

Back home. It's 10.00pm. Gotta feed the devils.
But super happy devils just back from shopping by night.

..And then the sofa was mine, not even energy to check for the snail mail (invoices for sure) I got.

Well.. Super happy devils is motivating enough :)

Just a quickie

I wanna update my bloggie, so badly!
But I've been hardly behind my screen lately. Last weekend I was in Bretonie, to spend 3 days with my devils. I go back there tomorrow. My only precious holidays, 2 weekends far from my beloved Paris.

There, I spend my time in my mom's house. I can't go back in the hobbit house, it's too painful, it's too much for me. I feel like in the twilight zone there. Last year I spent 2 months in that lil house I did love. Today I try to escape the memories it brings me. So strange.

Work is going fine. It's hard, really speed, but very interesting. When I leave, I jump in a bus, in a tram, in the tube to join my sport place. I'm never back home before 10.00pm lately.

I love life this way.

I'll bring back photos after my weekend in the wild wild west ;)

Adjusting

A new job is pretty hard. Working in a social environment is just like landing on another planet.
Today I arrived at work, found a homeless one in front of the still closed door, surrounded by his bros and sis. He was on the floor, bleeding. Huge injury in his head, he had just fallen really badly after an epileptic crisis.

I helped the way I could, put handkerchiefs on his bleeding head (as firemen told me on the phone) and waited for the emergency help.

Then I started my day, a bit shocked I reckon.

4 months

Been smoking for 4 months and it's been fucking good. Incredibly good.
I still have 2 paquets of 20 cigarettes at home.
I smoke, between 10 and 15 cigs a day. Old habits came back fast.

When these 2 paquets are over, I'll be done. I quite smoking despite the real pleasure it brings me. It's too damn expensive. Maybe sexy on the pic, but I don't want to be that slave.

Sigh.

Happy sigh : )

And I thought I was busy?? ha!

Oh God, my new job is very interesting but very demanding on many levels. Without talking of the time spent in metro and tramway.

I finished tonight at 6.30pm, came back home, exhausted, grabbed my sport-bag (the devils are with their dads on Tuesday's evening), when to sweat for 1 hour, finally left by 9.30pm, went for food shopping and I'm just back.

Tomorrow morning, I gotta contact the school very early for summer camp for the kids, then rush to work, then rush back around here to take the kids who will be at a neighbour's till I come back from work.

Meanwhile, there are a hundred of things I gotta do, my head is about to explode : )

And meanwhile really... I gotta get a life!

Tell me it won't be that speed and that hard all the time....

Planting my flag on a new planet

First day at work.
Wonderful people surrounding me. My boss gives me 10 days to get used to the place, to the people, to explore every corner of it.
It feels strange to be in a same place for many hours. It feels strange to try to fit to a company's habits. Remembering names is already something : )
Strange to dress for some "official work".  Strange to be part of the massive running workers in the tramway and metro. 40 to 45 min to get to my working place.

I hope though I'll be the perfect assistant I'm expected to be.

Taking care of my babes at the same time, even if only part-time job is something. I never finish just in time when they finishes school and that already requires so much organisation. Thank god, people and friends around are very helpful, always someone to keep an eye over my devils.

I'm tired tonight and nothing compared with the tiredness you get after 2 hours at sport.
Gotta finish taking care of some papers and then I'll work a bit on one of my paintings.

And well, I'm still playing lottery..

Quicksand

I walk, one step, then another.

The ground isn't as hard as I thought, I'm about to lose my balance sometimes, even fall.
It was scary the first times.
you just don't know how often you will fall. Then you learn how to. Just like when skiing : )

I'm learning to love quicksands, because I think life is truly this way. Don't take anything for granted, anything.

I'm about to start a heavy week. Tomorrow, trying to defend myself for a job and later my case with my lawyer.

I am back to cigarettes for real, well 1, 2 a day. Bad enough. But however bad it is, right now stopping is not my priority.

;-)

The Job, part 2

I've spent one hour today working on my second job interview for the company I saw last week.

The first interview went well it seems. On Friday I got a call for second interview tomorrow morning at 10.00am, this time with the HR manager. 
I was so proud.
Funny when you've stopped working in a formal biz environment for 10 years... you get back into it, but you're everything but formal. You answer typical questions, but just can't answer in a typical way. Even if I imagine the expected answers, I have to go straight to the point : 

"Why do you want this job?" 
"because it is a very interesting position that will allow me to develop my career"
"because (and then I give my most pretty smile) I need to feed my kids"

It would take me 30 minutes to go there, very well located in Paris centre.
I wonder, god I wonder how I'll make it... alone, full time job, the kids, my painting biz, and myself. No holidays for a year.

I need Superman to take care of me sometimes. I should be an emergency for him! : )
Please Superman, come here and take care of me for a couple of hours only. 

It's stressing, but exciting. I'm going to be a super modern girl. Capable to do everything, alone.
And one day, one day trust me, my paintings will be enough. I'll be a successful artist. I wouldn't type it if I wouldn't believe it. Forced to make it happen now : )

edit: both appointments, the job and lawyer have been postponed ! boooo

Anticipation, stress and cigarette

My devils start their Winter holidays tomorrow.
What does it mean now for me? It means I gotta learn how to "share" them. I'm not used to not have them close to me.
It's crazy, painful.
For a few days, I'll feel sick inside, I'll keep myself as busy as possible. Sport and friends will be like Heaven. Sweet escape.

I've had a packet of cigarettes  for 2 months. I've smoked one only.
2 others borrowed to friends.
I'll never let cigarettes be an addiction again, but these cigarettes have been truly good. I dream of that cigarette I'll have on one of those evenings, when I will think about the sleeping face of my babes, the peaceful rhythm of their heart. And miss them : )